Thursday, August 13, 2009

I'm proud of you my darlings! Can you hear me??!

I know- it might sound a little odd that I'm proud of my boys that are not on this Earth with me...but I am.

I'm so proud of my littlest little man, Matthew- for growing so much in those last few weeks and bringing us all so much joy by fighting hard. I am so, so proud of you- my precious boy.
I am so proud of Joshua - for looking after Matthew and letting him catch up to him a bit more.
I am so proud of them both for surviving the laser procedure we all went through and for giving us those extra weeks with them.
I am so stoked that my little guy lead the way for his brother when they were born- and came first- and the right way- what a trooper hey?!

I can only imagine what gorgeous boys you are- but I know you must be that extra bit special to get to go straight to heaven. I know I don't need to tell you to be a 'good boy' like I do your brother Caleb because I know you are in the place of ultimate good.

I am just missing you so much. I'm so sorry I didn't hug you more when I had the chance. I have just looked at the pictures our friend Carly took of your names in the sand- and I think Daddy would love them as his Father's Day present, what do you think? Daddy bought me 3 frames for mother's day- one for you Matthew, one for you Joshua and one for Caleb....they were meant to have pics of you both in to match the one we already have up of Caleb.

I am sure you're having a ball with all your other friends and our family up there...know we love you and miss you still.


Tina said...

I gave my husband pictures of our girls' names in the sand for father's day and he loved them. (you can look at them here:
I wish your boys were here so you could put their pictures in those frames. And I don't think it is odd that you are proud of your sweet boys; that's just part of being a mommy.

Mell Mallin said...

Tears Sez... Tears.

Catherine W said...

It doesn't sound odd at all to me Sarah. Of course you are proud of your boys. All of them. xx

Laura said...

Love this! It is so wonderful to be proud of your children- here and in heaven- I think about the joy and healing my Andrew has brought to others- and it is such a comfort!
Thank you for writing!

Franchesca Cox said...

You certainly have a lot to be proud of, our babies fought hard to stay with us but they were too precious for this world.

TimnND said...

I joined Mell - Tears. What a gift to feel pride for your boys. Hugs.

Fiona said...

Hi Sarah,

Matthew and Joshua would be so proud to have you as a mum as well. They fought to stay and you fought to keep them - I would be so proud too. When looking at photos of Bailey I also feel so proud of him - he looked like an angel to me. Wish they were all here.

Take care, Sarah.


Lisa (Jasper's Mommy) said...

Sarah, I just found your blog and started to follow it. I think the pic for your husband on father's day is a very nice idea.

Sarah said...

Girls- forgive me for being so slack in replying to you- after you were so kind as to comment and encourage...I really DO appreciate you!

Tina- you are such an encourager!
Thankyou for the support you always offer me. Plan to give hubby pics for Father's day.. :-)

Mell- I'm so blessed to have you as a friend. I know it sounds weird/wrong?!- but thanks for sharing in my pain.

Thanks Catherine! xx

Isn't it amazing Laura- the impact our boys have had in so little a time?! blows me away all the time xx

Franchesca- they did fight hard didn't they?! Precious, precious babes. Golly- it just hurts so much.

Thanks my nay. I love you friend xx

Fiona- you are a blessing to me.
Your words meant so much to me. I just wish I could have a little chat with them, discover them a little- there must be someway they know how much we love them-these babes of ours in heaven. I totally get you being proud of Bailey xx

Thanks Lisa- I think it's a "goer"!!

Christy said...

Sarah--I know your feeling of pride. It's so hard to have happy thoughts of this experience. But pride, that is definitely one of them that I get.

also want to thank you for your comment/message. That kind of support is exactly what I am talking about....Blows me away what happened to me and yet I have feelings of guilt about God. Thanks for understanding.